I never tell it.
Never let reality brace my lips
Because if I did-
you would know.
You’d taste my tongue like I do and know this isn’t
My skin all built with lies
I can’t figure out who-
Just who is this
Who are you?
I can’t find my words.
My stomach has been ridden sick with undeserving sympathies
Stop playing that sob story symphony-
It wasn’t met for me.
Am not an angel with clipped wings
Not a bird who merely wishes to sing
Not the glistening morning dew
Or your breath, released, when she sees you.
I am building these walls for a reason
Spackle these red bricks without the oxygen holes
I don’t want to see this world anymore.
The grass is beautiful,
Dying in the fall with the orange-red leaves
Cradling life beneath your feet
These birds and these bees
I can see-
I am drowning for a reason
Without the water.
The world has been falling with me
Swaying in the universe like notebook paper
Back and forth-
But I want you to have it
I know that your strong hands can grab it
Know you’re like the best thing that has ever happened
And I want you to be happy
And I don’t know what that is
But I’ve seen it in stranger’s faces
And they told me not to tell lies and I’d have it one day-
That glimmer of happy like sun in the pool of my eyes
But I didn’t
And I made up this person
To run away from truths
And I don’t know her,
But you do.
Tell her it’s okay to feel broken sometimes
And that poems don’t always come in rhyme
And that she’s met some pretty beautiful people
And that, just like me, she wasn’t meant for the steeple-
Wasn’t meant for love
Or life beyond her own breaking point.
it’s okay to die sometimes.
Close your eyes
And don’t cry-
It was meant to happen
And you feel the days creeping toward it
And you feel the minutes aching for the final ones
And you feel the seconds trickling down your skin like insects
And you know there’s a bigger plan
And this is your part in it
One and only truth you can believe in.